Thursday, May 10, 2012

Voting for Mickey Mouse

I'm disappointed in Fairfax City, only 90% of them, not the people that got off their asses and actually voted last Tuesday. Only about 10% showed up to vote last week and that is a sobering statistic. We boast over 22,000 people live in the city and only about 2,300 people showed up to cast their ballots last Tuesday.

I am beginning to think that people just don't give a crap anymore. Plenty of opinions on politics, though. If political opinions were ever backed-up with actual votes, politicians might actually fear the populace and we might get a better pool of talent to pull from.

I consider that little "I Voted" sticker my license to bitch and renew it every few years regularly.

I decided to go to City Hall and take a look at the "Write-Ins" that those that DID take the time to go vote and voice their opinion. Its an interesting snapshot of the people that get out and vote and what is on their mind.

I found that even though he never declared he was running for office, or has EVER expressed any interest in politics, Mickey Mouse did well. He was written-in 3 times, that's equal to 30 votes had 100% of the population showed up to vote.

Donald Duck was also in the mix, he garnered two votes and another for School Board. Batman had a good showing, he got two votes. Sweeney Todd and Mark Twain got a vote, even though Twain is dead. I wonder if he was elected, how he might serve? Would one of those guys that dresses up like him and quotes him historically be able to serve? Sweeney Todd is a fictitious character. I wonder what that person think he would make a good councilman? Have you seen Sweeney Todd?

I am still trying to figure out who or what "C2BB1" is. That one has eluded me.

A new candidate made a splash this year, Ramsey the Cat garnered a couple of votes at one precinct but that could just be a glitch, so I don't take him seriously. He was unable to comment as he was in the cat box when asked for his opinion. I am sure he took a "Anti-Rodent" stance, so maybe those single-issue voters wanted to prop him up.

I would like to thank Kevin Linehan at City Hall for taking the time to how me the results from this past election cycle at Rasmussen House on the property of City Hall. His office is responsible for the voting process and how it is tabulated. He said any of these records are available for viewing by any citizen if they wish. I am glad to know he is at the helm of the process, I felt much better knowing that SOMEONE takes these things seriously and cares about the process. It certainly wasn't 90% of the citizens of the City of Fairfax. At least not this election cycle.

Corneal Abrasion

A week or so before the parents visited, I was playing with my kids and Emma grabbed my glasses off my face and then hit me in the eye, scratching my cornea. At first I thought it was just a poke in the eye, no big deal. But the pain persisted and by 8 o'clock it had become really intolerable.

I called my neighbor Eric and asked if he would dive me to one of those "Doc in a Box" places so they could look at it and see what was up. I went to the Fair Oaks walk-In clinic and they saw me in a few short minutes. The Doctor did identify that my was hurt so he gave me an eye drop that immediately numbed the eye - instant relief! Searing pain and within ten seconds, all good! It was unbelievable.

At that point I could open my eye and he could take a look. He couldn't get the violet light to work after he put the UV dye in so he just gave me some salve and said it would heal on its own.

Fast forward to three hours later and the numbing drop wore off. Really fast. Within ten minutes, I was once again in searing pain, awoken out of a dead sleep. I called my neighbor again and this time we went to the Emergency Room at Fair Oaks hospital. They were good because they got me an ice pack to put around my eye and got me a room (a bed with the curtains that is semi private) in a few minutes. The doctor came in and got me another numbing drop, which was sooo great. I can't explain to you how the pain felt, it was almost unbearable.

The doctors name was Dr. Doug Smith and he was really nice. He brought me back to the eye care room and put the dye in my eye and his UV light thing worked, unlike at the Doc-In-A-Box place, which was crucial because he was able to actually diagnose what was wrong. A corneal abrasion.

Really, really painful and it does have to heal on its own but you are going to need something to take the edge off the pain. This is key and is what the Doc-In-A-Box place missed.

A few days later I went to see an Opthalmologist and he said the pain is equivalent to child birth in terms of pain, to which my wife expressed some skepticism. The Opt Doc said he asked women who had been through both and they said the corneal abrasion was worse because the pain was unrelenting and childbirth was bad but you knew the end was coming so you knew that would pass.

I spent the next few days living the life of a drug addict; sleeping all day under the effects of Oxycodone. That stuff will screw you up. I was a mess. I couldn't form words in some cases and was a little edgy. That is no life I want to live so as soon as I could switch over to Advil and Tylenol I did it and left the rest of those pills in the bottle. I will never become a pill addict because I recognize wat it does to me that early during usage and want to avoid that.

I've never had my eye dilated for a few days but apparently there are drops for just that. The Opt Doc gave me some to speed the healing process and I looked funny (funnier than usual) for a few days.

Family Visit

I've been so busy lately that I realized I didn't write about the family visiting from all over. Mom, Dad and Kenny drove over from Oklahoma and Karen came up from Georgia for a few days to spend with us at the beginning of April.

We went out to eat every night, it was great! Mom and Dad don't get to enjoy a lot of restaurants because, let's face it, South East Oklahoma isn't known as the cultural center of fine dining. So we went to Marlin & Rays (Ruby Tuesdays seafood) restaurant and had a few drinks while we were there. I recommend the bacon-wrapped scallops and grilled shrimp on a stick. Mmm, mmm good.

Mom couldn't get enough of Emma, and she warmed up to her pretty quick. She also warmed up to Kenny but I think that was because he looks like me and she thought he was me. (Its so easy to fool babies!)


Jack thought Kenny was hilarious! I asked him if he thought I was funnier or if Uncle ken was and he said Kenny was funnier. I need to work on my material. Kenny just had fresher material.

We played "pass the Baby" at dinner the last night. Mom got her, then Karen, then Kate, Kenny and me as well.

Mom reading to Jack (Captain Underpants is his favorite)

Kenny and me goofing off. I made up some shirts that say "v1.0, v2.0 and v3.0 for Dad, me and jack to wear since we are all "John Goodyears". Kenny got a "v2.1".

Dad got the new iPad and brought it along for the trip. He was busy trying to figure it out and use it. Jack gave him a fw pointers since he is an expert and knows the iPad pretty good because of mine. I think Dad go me that iPad for me as a test to see if he might like it.

It was a great trip and we all had a good time. It is always great to see the 'rents and the siblings.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Easter Egg

An Easter Egg is usually a hidden piece of code in a software program that a programmer will put in the software which has hidden properties. Sometimes it an extra level or a cute message.

On my last day at work at the Library, I decided to make my own Easter Egg. Since I was just wrapping up the latest issue (May 2012) of the Library's monthly calender of events, I decided to include two very small names along the outside spine. My children, who are my greatest creations and inspirations (as well as my wife).

So if you pick up the latest calender of events at any of your local library branches, you can turn it over to the back page, look down and riiiight there, near the spine is two, tiny little names, "Jack" and Emma".

It filled me with a little perverse giggle when I went and picked up a copy earlier this week at the City of Fairfax branch and saw this. All 12,000 copies have it.

I tried to  do this type of thing before, when an author was coming to visit who had written a few "39 Clues" books. I designed the publication to have a bunch of "39"s hidden throughout the 12-page publication with a small blurb asking readers to count how many 39's they could find and tweet it to the Library for a chance to win a free book. That way, people would read through the whole publication AND get on twitter. We couldn't agree on a way to give away a few of the books, who would pay for them or what would happen if someone felt cheated and this "exploded in our face". So we decided to not do it. Another clever idea killed.

Well, this was my little way of showing that if you put something in that is out of the norm, the world doesn't open up and swallow everyone, the Library doesn't lose its funding and life goes on as usual.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

25 People You Might See In The Bathroom At Work

When going to the bathroom at work, here is a list of 25 people you may encounter:

1) The Rambler
This guy will talk your ear off or talk incessantly to the person on the other end of his Bluetooth (or god forbid, his cell phone which he is holding as he does his business) I will usually schedule a flush as he is talking so that the person on the other end of the phone is keenly aware that he is doing his busines while talking to them. What a Douchbag.

2) The Loner
The fellow that walks in and immediately will turn around and walks out since he wants to do his business all alone. Easily mistaken for Mr. Sensitive.

2A) Mr. Sensitive
Will walk in and after inhaling a noxious fume from a previous user, will turn around and walk out. Might make a comment, something like "Damn" or "Jeez" on his way out.

3) The Shy Guy
This fellow will bypass three urinals and head straight for the handicapped stall, close the door, wait for everyone to leave and then pee, standing up.

4) The Larry
In honor of Larry Craig, who apparently was fond of the "wide-stance" while doing his business. These guys will spread their legs so that their shoes are nearly under the stall wall and encroaching upon your area. An area in which you are not painfully aware of how small it has become. God help you if you are stuck between two Larrys'.

5) The OCD Washer
This is the guy that will wash his hands for so long you find yourself looking up to see what the problem is. Why is it taking this guy four minutes to wash his hands? Wash them, and get out. Got it? And quit ripping off twelve sheets of paper to dry your hands, its wasteful.

6) The Brush-Back Artist
This is the guy who stops by to brush his teeth, usually after lunch. I don't have a problem with these guys, except they remind me that I should brush more often and then I feel like a slob and that I am lazy. Thanks for the reminder that I am in fact, a slob and am lazy.

7) The Fraternity
This is when multiple guys come in at once, talking about everything under the sun, usually sports and end up hanging out for a little too long. Kiss already and get it over with, you guys, you know you want to. Or take it outside, either way, move on.

8) Mr. Bored
This guy is the person in the office that avoids work at all costs, including going to the bathroom and washing his hands, adjusting his hair, looking at his skin close-up, maybe adjust his trousers or his shirt collar a few times, all the while, never actually using the bathroom.

9) The Tweeter
This guy just wants to have a nice, comfortable place to play his iPhone games and maybe check his twitter account to see what has been trending or if someone sent him a DM. Totally harmless. He may even sneak out a chuckle if he finds a tweet that makes him LOL. Don't be alarmed.

10) The Jerk
This is the guy who is spending a liiiitle too much time cleaning his slacks in a stall by wiping them off and it sound like he is, you know, not wiping his pants of some stain that needs a lot of attention at that particular moment, which makes you wonder if he is... naaaawww. At work? Really, dude?

11) The Ninja
The guy that doesn't make a sound the entire time you are doing your business. You only notice him when washing your hands and you notice there are a pair of shoes you can see under one of the stalls.

12) Grunty McStrainer
You hear him, every grunt, every strain. You almost expect to hear him actually
pass-out if he continues this.

13) The Rip-Off Artist
The guy that rips off a few pieces of TP, rips off more, goes for a third and fourth wipe. Jeez, how many butts do you have? How much of a mess did you make?

14) The Pisser
You will never see this guy but you will see the mess he leaves behind, all over the seat and floor. What. An. Asshole.

15) The Phantom
Another guy you will never see, but you will feel his presence when you sit down and feel the leftover warmth on the seat that he had been sitting on just a few short minutes ago.

16) The Tornado
This is usually some destructive kid who likes to rip the TP and throw it around the stall, leaving it looking like an F4 hit that stall. Usually it's someone that is visiting. Nobody does this where they work.

17) Dr J.(the Slam Dunker)
This guy will slam the toilet seat down so it creates a loud bang, almost literally scaring the crap out of you. BAM!

18) The Encroacher
This guy you only see coming and going, he works on a different floor but will use your bathroom to do his business. Usually seen exiting the bathroom and heads straight to the closest stairwell.

19) Mr. Muttersworth
He must have a lot on his mind because it spills out when he is in the stall. You can't understand what he's saying, it's just muttering. This guy is the one that is most likely to go on a shooting spree at work.

20) The Eyeball
This idiot is the guy who will walk by a stall and take a peek by looking through the quarter inch of space between the door and side wall. He could have just looked for any shoes under the stalls to see if anyone was occupying a certain stall, but no. He is going for the full monty.

21) The Dump & Dash
The guy that comes in after you, does his business in world record time and leaves just as quickly. In such a hurry, he doesn't bother to wash his hands, usually. Yeah, don't shake hand with this guy.

22) The Plunger
That is what you will need after this guy pays a visit. Saving up for a week? My god man, get some more fiber in your diet.

23) Taco Hell
This guy will run in and barely make it to the stall and let loose. Guess the extra jalapeno peppers on your enchilada didn't work out so good. Burns going in and burns going out.

24) The Janitor
Literally, the guy that shows up while you are copping a squat and decides that now is the best time to clean the bathroom. You might be so bold to alert him with a courtesy flush but he will probably ignore your shout-out and continue his task. The man has a job to do (Doodie calls). Of course, he leaves the door to the bathroom propped wide open the whole time. He restocks the paper, sprays the toilets and mops the floor. All the while he can see the two feet under one of the stalls and just decides to keep cleaning. Totally. Awkward.